Two PhDs and a guineapig

white House Flickr page :)

2009-11-29T06:53:00.000-08:00

you can find it here.
I like the idea of a "behind the scenes at the White House"...

Plagiarism etc.

2009-09-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

So, probably by now you have heard about the plagiarism case of Kamran Daneshjou that was selected by Ahmadinejad as the Education minster in his cabinet.

Nature reports that the journal "Engineering with Computers" is retracting the paper completely.

The funny thing is that now there is a reply by the coauthor of the paper trying to claim that no such plagiarism exists. Besides the fact that reporting verbatim words and graphs of other people without appropriate quotation marks for text and appropriate copyrights and referencing at the bottom of each picture is per se the definition of plagiarism (note that you can even self-plagiarize-use sentences you have used in your own previous publications-, and this is something I continuously warn my students about!), the points of the coauthor rather than presenting logical points, border on the ridiculous and childish.

Here is a summary of why he thinks everything is fine:

1) first he doesn't know what kind of weblog is "Nature Blog" and/or if it has scientific credit (dude, besides the fact that it does has scientific credit, it doesn't matter who makes the allegations when they are true. It is the same as asking the rape victim if he/she has a doctoral degree in medicine to claim he/she has been really raped!)

2) Because the paper was published in an ISI credited journal such as Engineering with Computers, one can not dispute that it has scientific merit.

(you can not confuse scientific merit with plagiarism. In fact the paper by the Korean authors in 2002 and 2003 have plenty of scientific credit! the problem is that you basically copied most of those papers. Remember, copying verbatim other people's words is PLAGIARISM!)

3) The work of the Koreans is referenced in this paper, so all is good. (no, all is not good. Remember the verbatim thing?!?! If you report verbatim you have not only to report it in quotation marks but refer appropriately at the end of each such sentence the authors/papers. Meaning that your paper should reference a dozen times or so to the Korean paper)

He then tries to show the different scientific points different between his and the Korean paper (not even different enough to be relevant), before accusing Nature of defamation against Engineering with Computers. To tell the truth Nature has all rights, if it wanted to, to ridicule the other journal. If they indeed ask for 4 reviewers to judge the paper and none of them caught this, it means two things:

a) their reviewers are not experts in the field;

b) they do not do their job appropriately.

Shame on Daneshjou as advisor and corresponding author, shame on the student that after all this thinks all is fine, and shame on the university where one is a professor and the other has received a doctoral degree from!

PS. I am an active reviewer for more than half a dozen ISI journals and an associate editor for another, and I have rejected multiple papers till now for self-plagiarism. As a rule of thumb, the authors of papers with proven plagiarism are banned for life on publication in that journal.

Iran's protests make it to the gadget contest

2009-07-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Engadget is having a contest for the back design of the Kindle. And here are the finalists.

#4: Peace is clearly representing the recent street protests in Iran against the 2009 election's and the ensuing Coup d'Etat.

If you get a chance, vote for it (at the bottom of this page). It is for a worthy cause. . .

Disclaimer: I don't know who has sent in that design, so it is not for personal gain :)

deluded. . .

2009-06-19T05:39:00.000-07:00

He reminds of the ostrich hiding his head and thinking he is safe.
Ignoring the truth doesn't make it any less real.

Balatarin in English

2009-06-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

This is an effort by Balatarin (think Digg for news in Farsi) to keep the English-speaker public aware of what is going on in Iran. It includes everything from twitter-ed thoughts of students involved in the protests to big and small scale news on the events of the recent days.

PS. I am one of the volunteers helping with the translations. I figured out that although I might not be able to participate in protests from US, this might help to get the voice of my people heard beyond the borders drawn by the crackdown on the official international journalists' communications.

Where is my vote?

2009-06-14T08:56:00.001-07:00

Ahmadinejad in NOT my president.

2009-06-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

I did vote. It was my first time for Iran. . .and now this.
I would have been on the streets if I was in Iran. I am not and am not sure what to do, besides having stayed up till 1am this morning to follow the rigged results coming out and waking up again this morning to follow all day on Internet the new developments.
I am flabbergast: a new coup d'etat in Iran.
Shame on you Khamenei.

and. . .

2008-11-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the President-Elect :)
this was exciting, and hopefully will keep being so. . .for two terms ;)

Election Day

2008-11-04T04:49:00.000-08:00

exciting and . . . a bit scary.

The lines this morning were huge: by 7:30 the lines at both the local middle school and the the church in front of it were a couple of blocks long. Almost no cars in the parking at the Institute: I hope everyone is voting, and the students are not taking the elections as an excuse for not showing up in class ;)

Obama on Hellen's show

2008-10-22T12:34:00.001-07:00

Check it out: it is really fun how he can make fun of himself and the craziness of this year's campaigns ;)

Holidays?

2008-10-21T04:55:00.001-07:00

-Ehm, I was wondering, I mean, my mom was asking. . . how long will be my winter break?

-Well, you have to figure it yourself I guess :) anywhere between 7 to 14 days seems reasonable to me. I just recommend you don't make it much longer than that, so your research doesn't get completely stopped. . .and you have left enough for your summer vacations :)

- :) I ask because the advisor of my room-mate has sent an email to the group saying that they were allowed to take the day before Christmas off and that was pretty much it. I mean, added to the institute-wide official holidays that makes less than 7 days for winter break.

- LOL! Nope, I guess our groups have a bit more of the european flavor: we think holidays are necessary to recharge your "brains/batteries" ;)

I remember my first year in the States, I just went to Susan and told her I was leaving in 14 of December. She looked at me a bit goggled eyed and asked when I was planning to be back and I told her around the 4th of January. She didn't really looked very happy and yet she still didn't say no! However, I never again made plans for anything longer than 2weeks or so.

Still, I never heard Susan tell people how much time they could take off. And I guess I am really more used to the European system: so, ok, I don't think grad students should take 6 weeks off, but at the same time, I won't ever dream to tell them they can't take more than the official institute days off. Less than 7 days for christams/new year is just mean.

Busy, busy

2008-10-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

I have been really busy the last few weeks. With a huge proposal's deadline looming by and the co-PIs being really slow, I have been doing my part and some of their part and still some more. Not that anyone says thank you. . .rather, they say "what about adding this too?" or "are we going to do this other also?".

I can't believe that they don't go and just do it themselves. I mean no one is preventing them from actually doing some work.

Yes, I am a bit frustrated. It helps that I like my job and what I do. It's just their attitude that bothers me ;)

Quite unrelated to this. . .U remember the flooding in my lab? Well, it seems that that is finally fixed (crossing fingers, toes, arms and legs). . . Unfortunately, now it's the ceiling and wall of my office that have started leaking :) Considering that my PC laptop is again KO (my MAC though is still running fine. Possibly because I take care of the MAC, while the PC is under the IT support's "care") too, I begin to wonder if it is my office to be possessed, or is it jinxed, or whatever. . .Is there any other explanation to the string of weird things that happen in this office, besides Murphy's Law?

the debate

2008-10-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

Many comments on content, but . . .
1) . . .another one calling it "Nucular"?! Somebody should have helped her improving diction and pronunciation more than talk points!
2) does she know she is actually supposed to answer some of the questions?!

PS. why the NPR has the "Live Debate" with 5 seconds delay? Is it just technical or are they expecting "verbal" malfunction?

The resolution and other stuff

2008-09-25T04:23:00.001-07:00

Ok, so the resolution has now hold for more than two weeks. I have to admit that although this makes me nicer to other people, it doesn't make me any nicer to myself: it is too stressful to be nice and polite with people that are not the same way with you, that neglect their duties or that are there outright to create problems for you. Maybe I should have picked an easier thing to do. . .even dieting seems an easier feat right now ;)

The deadlines for the proposals loom by and somehow that means that my computers have started to act funky again. I should be more forgiving though: for sure I am putting much pressure on the computing powers and memories of the poor things, so I guess it should come as a smaller wonder to me that they start acting funny. Yesterday for example, my Word processor started quitting continuously and unexpectedly every time I would touch the menu bar (including open or save commands!). I had to remove the whole office and reinstall. Which didn't fix word for whatever reason, BUT as a side effect started deleting random letters from screen. And I literally mean from the screen, as in desktop, internet browser, etc. My name for example showed up as "aii". I had to wake up this morning at 3am to figure out a possible source for the disaster: believe it not it was a temporary connection to an auxiliary screen for half an hour yesterday morning. I came to the office this morning at 7am, ran my 3am solution code and now it is working ;)

Wow, sunrise above midtown. Pays out to be in the office early. Although I bet I'll feel the lack of proper sleep last night (of course I didn't fall asleep again after the 3am eureka moment!) right after lunch in my class :)

old movies (very unrelated to the previous post)

2008-09-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

I watched two very old movies this weekend: one from late sixties, one from the late thirties:

"Jack the giant killer (Jack-e ghulkosh)" and the "Babes in Toyland: march of the wooden soldiers" (the one with Laurel and Hardy) on Netflix.

Both were some of my favorite childhood movies. Looking back the actors in the first were cheesy and the animation was a bit funny, the latter had a lot more singing than I remembered, but they brought me back to the good old days of Pal-secam and illegal video cassettes in Iran.

I was just thinking: imagine Tom Jackson redoing the first one! Oh what an adventure ;)

Inspirational

2008-09-22T15:41:00.001-07:00

I was going through Stephen Hawking's website and I read his one page about his disability.

Makes me feel really stupid complaining about a still missing water line in the lab.

You have to love the British sense of humor pervading the whole site :)

Don't listen to the corridor rumors

2008-09-15T13:06:00.001-07:00

-"I heard from someone in the office that you are a model";

- :D (me after almost falling off my chair and laughing uncontrollably!)

Really, not all professors come in grey suites, button downs and ties, or shirts with holes in them! Some of us are actually quite normal. Maybe taller but still normal ;)

cell phone bill

2008-09-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I receive our cell phone bills and it is some $40 higher than usual. This for two people that have usually hundreds of minutes rolling over each month. I check the detailed bill and hello. . .all the extra charges are for international texting while roaming in Azerbaijan!

Of course the customer service is closed on the weekend, so no fixinf it yesterday. Today I call them up and first they try to deny the claim: "sure you could have never left the country, but what if your cell phone had?!"

I had to point out that those same days where there are text messages being sent out in Azerbaijan, I have been making calls in Atlanta!

After another 15 minutes on hold, they finally admit "we had a computer problem last month". Thank you very much. I like the fact that they knew from the beginning that they had the problem and yet still try to deny my claim :)

I am also proud to say that I never "lost it" during the call and was calm, composed and nice to the lady on the line the whole time. It could be that for once i can hold on to my resolution ;)

How to make you advisor feel good:

2008-09-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

"Thank you for all the time you've invested in me, explaining your project, e-mails over the summer, and my random visits. You asked me earlier about how to obtain students and I think if you keep what you are currently doing you will be fine :) I am excited about working for you . . . "

. . .from a hand written note my newest group member slid under my door this afternoon.

New resolution

2008-09-08T13:42:00.000-07:00

I kind of came up with it yesterday:

"To be nice to people, no matter what and even if they don't behave in the best way. To not get mad and lose it, just because things are not going the way I think they should. A little bit of civility goes a long way." :)

Lovely start of the week

2008-09-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

My computer (the PC, of course, not the MAC!) this morning is giving me weird input, like internet cable unplugged, when it is very plugged! So I make a quick restart, and. . .the semi-blue screen of death. Registry recovery, etc. Then when it finally logs in: the virus file is not updated. Hmmm, how come? I update that and awuch: trojan file in action! And my lovely enterprise version anti-virus is completely powerless.

I looked online for removal tips and I see it is long and tedious. . .and a tad bit risky (as it has manual registry modifications). I called up the computer support, who after getting lost three times before getting to my office (yeah, I know, not very encouraging!), picked the laptop up an said "they will let me know".

Now I am a bit scared of having left my laptop in the hands of the "support". They are usually not very supportive (as they end up damaging rather than repairing; as in they don't recognize an all-in-one computer and ask you for the "computer", as in "did you try to delete the file?" referring to the trojan!).

I hope I will have it back. . . some day soon and hopefully functional!

I am cranky

2008-09-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing much is going my way and everything that can go bad is going. Just discouraged, pissed-off and such. . .

It might be a short post as I feel like smashing the computer.

so in brief:

-our abstract got rejected while there is an average of 6 people from each of the organizers group scheduled for talks;

-the facilities never followed up really for the water line for the last two months leading us on a goose chase. After pressuring them again, finally they realized they need a new pump: will take 3 weeks before it is delivered and they can start the works!

-I am in a deadlock with the graduate admission head. first he tells me about how he hired a student from another institution just because she was only a TA before. Now that is my turn he is asking my student to produce a letter of release before starting to process his paperwork. All because another student (with a fellowship) right now would prefer to join my group instead of his!

-our samples have started randomly to misbehave. What used to work till now, is not working anymore. We literally are losing the sample during the process: it disappears (read there is some weird new chemical rxn going on that dissolves everything!).

-one of my students is diagnosed for mono: so he will be at rest for a month. . .and we will be shorthanded for the same amount of time.

-I had to cancel my trip to China: turns out that the two meetings I had to attend won't be held the same day or on two consecutive days anymore but on the first and last day of the conference, 7 days apart. As there is no way I can miss a whole week of work (make it closer to 10 days as it takes a bit over a day to get there!), bye bye meeting.

-argh. . .

-random stuff, like mentioning any of this to my mom on the phone and of course she comes up with all kind of weird comments! With me short-tempered, that just means an easy phone discussion: two minutes and we were done.

-and sigh, I hate to be horrible to people, but I just can't take it anymore!

Another phone call. . .

2008-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

:) Yeah, I know I said that I won't do it again after the last experience, but I changed my mind.

He made me emotional too with the laughter in his voice and the happiness in his words. I could almost feel he was jumping up and down :)

Let's hope this time I made the right choice.

2008-08-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

Miss Kimi's post reminded me of this. . .

I was having lunch a week or so ago with some colleagues, and while everybody was having "regular food" (salad, chicken, soup, vegetables,. . .), I was having a medium size cup of vanilla/chocolate swirl frozen yogurt, chased down with an oatmeal raisin cookie (that I magnanimously shared).

I can't still understand why they were making fun of me.

What is healthier than dairy and whole grains?

Feel like screming

2008-08-08T07:46:00.000-07:00

For the 4th time in a month, we have a leak in the ceiling of my lab!

Now that my equipment are getting back after the repairs from the first leak in July, I have to move everything out again. The problem is we don't know where to move the equipment to!

It is frustrating being the unluckiest tenure track professor in the department.

Weirdos. . .

2008-08-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Because I have talked so much about weird students, I feel that I need to tell you about weird professors too.

For the second time, I received today an email inviting me to attend a conference in India. The very scientific title of the conference is. . .

"International Conference for Research Scholars". How much more vague, and useless could you get? if you are a scholar, you are by definition researching something: if you already know a lot, you are trying to learn more. right? So, just out of curiosity I check out their website, and low and behold, they do indeed have some specifics in what they research, but they just "forget" to add it every time to the invitation letter!

I wonder what kind of scholars they end up getting as speakers!

"I didn't think I was in danger of failing. . . "

2008-08-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

. . .reads the email from one of my students.

I already remembered that he rarely showed up in class, but I give him the benefit of the doubt and go check his grades in my class. He has 20, 40, 50 in his midterms and 60 in his final, and has mostly 0 in HW.

How could he possibly think that he wasn't set to fail, I wonder!

"I love ur outfit"

2008-07-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

This came from two young teenager girls in the 4 day robotics camp that I was helping with last week.

The day before that, I had a staff assistant coming into the mail room, where I was making copies of the last midterm exam, to see what I had on. She has been told that I always wear blue-jeans. I had her almost tricked as I had a pair of gray. . .jeans on that day. Having made sure that they were still jeans, she smiled with a satisfied look, bid me good day and left to confirm with another staff assistant waiting outside that indeed I had still jeans on.

If I had any doubts till now, I guess it is confirmed that I do not dress as most professors on campus!

Unspectacular quirks (and this is because I got tagged!)

2008-07-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

and I have many. . .I could go well beyond 6 but let's keep it short :)

1) I talk loud to myself when I write something personal (basically, I don't do it if I am writing a scientific article or grant but if I am writing an email to a friend or such, I do "read" aloud and then I copy);

2) I change names of people, pets, . . . Tigerfish became Tigerfush, then Fush, Fulsh, Fushety. I won't tell you all the names Tiger has, because he has way too many by now (ok, just one: Sublime);

3) I have been wearing the same ring every day for the last 18 years of my life. I have still no idea what the stone on it is. It was already an old ring then, and now the silver is all chipped around the center stone too. I amuse myself by imaging that the etching on it is of two small devils playing around.

4) I can't go jogging, walking, running behind anybody else, otherwise I get bored and annoyed. It's not that I run fast, I just don't like to play catch-up.

5) I like biting people that I love. It is not a fetish: I have had this since I have been a baby. Some babies give kisses, I gave bites! I used to bite even myself. Maybe my canine teeth are too sharp and like some rodents I need to bite to dull them ;)

6) I like to smile and I like to laugh. If I am nervous and sometimes when even when I am angry I laugh (they usually call that crazy I am told). And if it is because of fun that I laugh, well, then I cry! Rivers of tears! But it is genetics so there is not much to do about it.

late Friday afternoon

2008-07-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

the whole city is sparkling after the thunderstorm. I am still in my office "working" (not really evidently!) on the notes for the class I will be teaching this fall, while badly craving cookies!

Really badly.

I have no idea what optical properties of materials have to do with cookies, but somehow I think they stimulate weird cells in my brain, telling me I need a big chocolate chip cookie. I never know when to give in with these cravings and when actually resist. What worries me is that if the last few days are any measure of the problem, I will try to resist by eating some healthy substitute. But no substitute works and I try many of them in the useless effort to resist. and at the end, after having gorged in huge quantities and weird combination of all kind of food, I finally cave in and get what I wanted from the beginning.

I guess it goes to show that I don't really have a good self-control!

sigh. . .

U know what? This admission actually kind of worked. No craving for cookies anymore! YEAY :D If just life was all that easy ;)

estimated cost

2008-07-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

between 60 and 100 thousand dollars. . .for the repairs for the lab.

It is still not sure if the insurance will even cover the costs. What's for sure is that:

it won't come from my startup money;
it will take some weeks before stuff start working again;
it is going to be painful!

I will get to this

2008-07-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

. . .sooner or later. Promised.

Not a good start

2008-07-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

If the Monday morning is any index of how the week is gonna go, I better stay home, in the bed and under the covers.

There has been/is a leak in my labs ceiling and the lab is flooded! All my electronics are dripping water from their holes. If it wasn't that I was so mad (this has happened a year ago before I moved in that space and I was double/triple assured that everything was fixed!) I would just sit down and cry.

I am VERY frustrated and quite a bit demoralized.

Tired

2008-07-01T15:02:00.001-07:00

I am very tired. Starting on Friday I have been waking up some time between 4 and 6 am very morning. Fri/Sat/Sun went also to bed at (mostly after!) midnight.

I had the kid's midterm today and a presentation. And I am just recovering!

That said, the wedding thing went well. I am putting the bride under question mark: she ignored all Max's friends for the whole time. She also ignored her sister in law for the whole time (Max's brother and his GF are not married but have a kid, so to me that is sister in law!). And to tell the truth beyond the vows exchange, she also ignored Max. Oh yeah, very much under question mark for me.

On the other hand, not seeing Max for a couple of years, hasn't made really much difference. We just restarted where we had left :)

He didn't get the top-off of Germany winning the Euro Cup, but hey U can't have always everything (he was convinced Germany would win: after all they had got engaged the day his favorite team had won the Bundesliga! Not sure if the reasoning was really sound!)

We got just an overdose of blessings and prayers between the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, the reception, etc. It was also quite funny to see in the church during each prayer the groom side of the church just look around, while the bride's side of the church was fervently following!

ah well. . .

correcting midterms ain't fun :p

Glamorous life (don't believe it)

2008-06-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah, we are having our photo-shoot op today :)

Me and Ashley posing for the camera in the lab. Hehehe, it seems that A.'s pictures will be prime property as she a female graduate student in a the PhD program. And she is already telling me that she won't resist more than 15 minutes. I had to laugh: Tiger's session lasted a good hour!

But then admittedly his lab is all good and ready, ours is still only half done.

Very unrelated: we are flying back to sweet Pennsylvania this weekend. Max is getting married :) this is going to be fun (or at least I hope! I have never met the bride before ;) ). I haven't yet decide what I am going to put on for the wedding, let apart the rehearsal: won't make for an easy packing!

Even more unrelated: I think there is somebody using (or trying to use) my computer every night at work. Well, either that or I have fairies that like to move things around. Weird things happen: from a monitor turned off, to strange error messages popping up in the morning. Life is strange: maybe my office is possessed by a poltergeist ;)

the new RTA

2008-06-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

U remember those days when the RTA was breaking down every other day?

Well, in my lab now, it is not the RTA breaking down every other day, but the spin coater. First, we realized that the foot switch that we have bought to make the manual commands redundant is actually working only after U have used the manual commands (hence, it is really useless!). the company refused the take back even the one from the second system that was still sitting unpacked in the lab.

now it turns out that the vacuum on the tool is not working anymore. Or I guess I should correct myself: works only too well. Once U actuate it it doesn't let go anymore: the only way to get ur sample off is to manually switch off the vacuum pump!!!! Imagine depositing a 10 layer sample. Goes on like this the vacuum pump burns off before the end of summer!

Lovely. . .

And Italy is out too...

2008-06-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

sigh! And to top off the flat game and the loss on penalties, we had to watch the game in a bar filled with Spanish fans that were not leaving out any swearing and epithet! And I always thought that the Italians were the worst for fair-play spirit (or lack thereof!).

well, now all I can root for is a Russia-turkey final: It would be quite the thing for a European Cup final, don't U think?! ;)

. . .

2008-06-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

nothing special. . .i'm just feeling blue.

France - Italy

2008-06-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure that watching the game won't do my health any good, but it is fun to be back in the "whatever" cup soccer mood :)

the good thing is that year, I don't mind France anymore: guess it comes with the spousal vows.

"Do you promise to cheer for your spouse's team as your own?" "I do!"

I just hope that (oversimplifying the complicated situation) Romania loses (don't U love my sportsmanship?!) and there is no draw in the Italy-FRance game, so we will have a team left to cheer on :)

Update: yeaaaaaaay ! We are in ;)

miscellaneous

2008-06-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

Was REALLY hot this weekend. With the Summerfest in the neighborhood we were out a lot, but got sweat-drenched (ewwwww!) every time we put our toes out of the house. The most disappointing part is not however the choice of the time of the year for the fest, but that these "artists" have absolutely no creativity: the jewelers make all the same things (big stones in silver!); the photographers have all the same stuff (spanish moth hanging from trees in Savannah, stream running in the forest); the wood crafters, the potters, . . .really hard to find something original!
"Jesus camp" is freaking scary. We couldn't go beyond the first half an hour of the documentary. I can't stand torture scenes in the movies: this might not have had any physical torture, but for sure it was psychological. It was REALLY scary to see children at such early age being indoctrinated. Really creepy! One wonders how did ever Kentucky produce that fine specimen of Johnny Depp!
I'm preparing tomorrow's midterm for the kids and already worrying. I am not sure if I will wake them up or scare them off, both of the above or neither. This class baffles me: can't feel the pulse of it! Are they following and getting bored? Or they can't understand anything and getting bored? I will see tomorrow.
I have realized that every time I talk with my parents or my sisters, I ask them what they have eaten or what will they eat soon (depending if I am calling after their lunch or before the dinner!). Am I obsessed with food, now that the cooking time is hugely reduced? I mean this is really weird: I used to be the cook of the house. I loved cooking. I still do, but somehow when U get back home at 7:30pm after a full work day, cooking khoresht-e karafs doesn't seem anymore such a brilliant idea. No wonder I cook more and more Italian food. Sauces are done in less than half an hour and pasta itself in less than 20 minutes. Scallops, marinated fish and shrimps are also my favorites as they take nothing to be ready. I just seem not to have time to do even plain rice anymore: I would have to remember to wash it and let is soak in the morning so I can "fix it up" at night. All that before I even figure out a stew to eat the rice with! I propose an all day watermelon diet ;)
Now it isn't that Tiger doesn't do anything: I cook, he cleans. So I still have the better end of the deal ;)
Tiger's best comment in all this is: "Which part of take-it-easy you don't understand? :) ". My answer is usually: "Eh? U ta'kin' to me?" (read DeNiro's way!).

Jean Sibelius, Kullervo op 7

2008-06-02T11:37:00.001-07:00

Fluffy white clouds flying over head, from south to north, as far as eye can see. Dotted sunshine rays darting through the horizon. Jean Sibelius' Kullervo on the radio. . .

If it wasn't for the white paper proposal I am writing, I would have imagined myself lost in a wood in England circa 1850. I know time and place would be wrong for J.S. but that isn't really the point. The point is that I am daydreaming, about nothing in particular. Not that I am really dreaming. Far from it. I am just wandering and meandering through the labyrinth in my head.

I fainted this morning again. I knew it was going to happen. I called Tiger's name. I remember hearing his footsteps and then nothing else.

I am weird: when I pass out I dream! I was dreaming, or at the very least thinking: don't ask me about what, cause I don't remember. Next thing I know I am waking up and he is holding me and calling me "Amore Mio?!" What would I do without him?!

Anyway, writing about piezoelectric actuators doesn't come easily on a Monday morning like this ;)

Stuff. . .

2008-05-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

I have moved into a new office as of last week. I think it is nicer, because it is on the last floor and I have a great view of the midtown and part of downtown. My student thinks though that I might have downgraded as it is less wide (although longer) than the old one. I guess I don't care about the depth or width because I sit right in front of the big windows so all I see is the outside not the inside!
The "cold" ended up being a bronchitis. We also got a small scare at the doctor's office, because she sent me for emergency X-rays to see if I had pneumonia. . . and then sent me home with the stupidest antibiotics before the results were out.
I have changed doctor since then!
It seems that our School has a bad reputation in terms of the entrance exam to the PhD program and scares off a lot of applicants. This takes really its toll on the women applying! For next fall less than 10% accepted to come and only one of them is american!
Some times I think I am in a mad house: the "training" for new students to use a tool in the cleanroom means showing them all the buttons. Then it is up to the student her/himself to find somebody else using the tool and watch them use the tool and maybe touch/run the tool. BUT the student is not technically allowed to use the tool till he/she passes a written and practical exam on how to sue the tool. . .which can be taken only after the candidate has practiced with someone else! Really. . .a madhouse!
Florida is amazing. But one week is more than plenty: I can't stay more than that roasting in the sun! Yeay, I finally look like a healthy person (note the use of "look" instead of "am"), which is great.
I am teaching this summer: it is a bit of a suicide because you have to cram in 2 months what you have been teaching before in 4! I am not sure how these poor kids keep up. . . Hmm, I guess I will see with the first midterm how they. . . don't!
Life is weird!

Ill tigress

2008-05-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

With three deadlines coming up tomorrow, one would think that I'd be hyperactive. Instead my productivity is really low due to a horrible cold that started some time on Monday and has just got worse and worse. Granted that I don't have as bad a runny nose as on Wednesday (I went to my three hour final with a box of kleenex!!!), I have been nursing today a 38C fever, just moving up to bad chills and 38.5C! Lovely!

My eyes are burning and head feels like exploding and yet I have been working on the proposal due tomorrow. The best part is that in addition to all the deadlines, I have also a proposal defense to attend tomorrow from 3 to 5 pm! I will be the sweetest member of the committee by not asking any question: if it goes on this way I will be barely able to keep my eyes open there!

Back to work. . .

baseball

2008-04-24T14:29:00.001-07:00

P has been visiting to make some changes on the tool he has built for my lab. The other day when talking to him I realize he has a baseball sitting among all the electronic-ware.

-"and what is that for?"

-"that's for the break. A. will bring her gloves and then we will do the most civilized activity ever to de-stress: throw ball!"

Well, yesterday the three of us needed a break for sure and I proposed to go throw some ball on the lawn in front of the building. Barefoot on the cool grass it was actually really fun: specially because I have never worn a baseball glove, thrown a baseball or received it. So the fact that I was quite successful (yeah, big success!!!!!) at the very beginning really amazed me (I am particularly ill-coordinated!)

10 minutes were more than enough to make us all better. . .and to amuse all the students passing by ;)

Grrrr. . . (Grrrrr being the sound of a frustrated tigress!)

2008-04-22T10:59:00.001-07:00

Yes, frustrated because for the last two weeks I have been pushing left and right in order to get my future Iranian student's paperwork straightened with the department. We have been then all waiting for him to fax back a document, but no nothing from him. I even tried to call him various times on the cell phone last week and no answer.

Today, I gave him yet another call and behold: he has decided that he will actually go to UCLA, but he just didn't have the decency to let me know two weeks ago when I would have still been in time to hire somebody else! And yes, he had already signed his contract with us, rank-wise his decision doesn't make any sense, and . . . sigh.

What a disappointment, although I guess I should be happy that someone so volatile and dishonest won't be part of my group. Right now I feel that it might not take a full year to "when I won't read their emails anymore".

comment!

2008-04-16T11:44:00.001-07:00

I am walking in the corridor and I see my staff assistant walking to her office. We say hi and while I am walking away she says something. I turn around and ask her to repeat it:

"I said, you sound like a horse walking". . .

Ok I know, it is funny, but, really, I am not that sad that she will retire next month!

Even more student stories. . .

2008-04-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

So every week, I and all other faculty members here receive a few dozens of emails from international students asking for assistantships. I know I have already talked about this, but today I had yet another case stand out.

The email came from an Iranian student with one of the usual subject lines: "A question for Spring admission". I started reading the email. Yes, I do read them most of the time. . .unless shortly after I have started I give up due to a) improper grammar and/or excessive number of typos; b) very unrelated research field; c) excessive pompousness; d) all the above.

For a good start, he has my name misspelled (this from a fellow Iranian, so no excuse!). Anyway, I continue reading reading and it is pretty much a straight out of the box resume without any introduction. After a full page of description of things that more or less qualify as accomplishments, there is a half liner in closing: "I will be honored if you will be my advisor". No, he never asks up to this point if I have any positions or anything else. I guess the idea is that I will fall head over heals for this "beautiful" resume with research experience that is not even close to my field.

I actually took the time to answer back (no, I don't have any positions available + your GRE/TOEFL/GPA doesn't qualify you for an assistantship + here is what is required for admission here) but the short story is that he answers back too and basically says I am too punctilious: "Sure if you mind a misspelling of a name then even higher GRE scores won't help my admission".

Gee, really, what are these kids thinking? Or what am I thinking trying to help? this is like realizing that your worst cliche' about Iranians are true in some real cases: the politeness is just another lie for people used to be very different outside from inside, they don't care about being civil and polite if it doesn't serve their own end and purpose, and they expect favoritism just because your name says that your parents are from the same country. This is coming out completely wrong, I know. But today I have had a bit too much from "iranis": my only Iranian student in the class sent me an email today to see if he can take a make up exam because he has got F in the previous two midterms. This from a guy that never shows up in the class, hasn't ever handed back a HW and since the last midterm hasn't even had the decency to stop by and ask how good/bad he had done (<30/100!).

Sorry, had to vent!

I know that tomorrow I will read again the full email from the Iranian applicants, take the time to answer back and help them where possible. I guess I am just scared that if it goes this way I won't do that in a year or two.

Things that cheer you up

2008-04-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

:) I received an invitation to a luncheon to "celebrate" faculty and staff that have contributed to the campus life. It seems that one of my students (my guess is from the Fall semester) has sent in a thank you note for me.

Here, there is an online service for students to thank faculty that have helped them and it is (as long as they prefer it) an anonymous thing. Of course anonymous for student, for later the teacher receives an invitation to this luncheon and is told "hey, U have made a difference" :)

It is, as U can imagine, really gratifying. . . I just hope they haven't made a mistake and I actually have received a real "thank you" note :p

YEAY :D

2008-04-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

Tiger got his first proposal funded ;)

We got to celebrate with a good bottle of Moscato D'Asti. . .

Happy Tigress ;)

Yet another proposal

2008-04-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Who cares about measuring time in hours or days or months? Right now I am measuring time in "proposals": how many I have written, at which stage of writing one I am, how many I have lined up to write, and when I will be submitting them.

Yeah, it decidedly sounds pathetic, but after all proposals are what fund my research and bring in the salary for my students. It is almost service/social work ;)

. . .

Yes. I am also really good in misrepresenting reality even to myself ;)

Student stories III ;)

2008-03-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

My grader brings back the long overdue corrected homework. As always I ask how did the kids do.

-"Really well. Most of them got 100 unless they forgot to do a problem or you know, only small mistakes"

-"Wow. That's great. I mean, they completely flunked this subject on their midterm, that's why I gave them a full HW on this. This is good: it means they have been studying it and they understand it now!"

. . .

A couple of hours later, by chance I take a look at the HW. To my horror I realize that the kids still don't understand the concept as their HW is FULL of mistakes. It's just that the grader hasn't caught them!!!!! After the second one I stop correcting them myself. It is: a) taking too much time; and b) really depressing to see the grade change from 100 to 20!

Sigh, now I have to give all the HW back to the grader to get them all regraded. And double sigh, I will fix a review class and as always the only ones showing up will be the good students that already understand the subject!

Head is the clouds

2008-03-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

Guess who walked straight into the door post this morning? Yes, of course Yours Truly ;)

A few hours later it was still hurting so much that my Staff Assistant arrived with an ice bag to keep the swelling down.

How did it happen? Well, as usual I got up before Tiger and didn't want to wake him up by turning on the light. Then I simply miscalculated the distance ;) And of course with the thud that I made not only Tiger woke up but he actually turned on the light and had to run over to help me come back and sit down!

:)

2008-03-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year :)

The interview

2008-03-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

I had to interview a candidate for a temp position today. Turns out the candidate was older than my mom.

It was quite a weird situation, specially when I was describing the possible tasks that would be assigned to her. I mean, how would I feel asking my grandma to scan some documents for me, or to bring the paperwork to the main office because I don't have time!?

Her experience is fantastic, but it almost felt like I was hiring a "mom" for the group, and not a staff assistant. I already feel a bit uncomfortable interviewing future students, let apart someone much older than me: who am I to judge them?!

"exciting weekend"

2008-03-17T12:31:00.001-07:00

not in the same sense as last weekend though. This was more along the "adventurous"/ "Indiana Johns" kind of exciting: yeah the tornados! Two of them.

Quite freaky the one on Friday night: we were watching a movie and at around 9:30 we continue to have all these white glares shinning through the windows. Our first thought was that an early St. Patrick party has got out of hand and the police has showed up (hence the stroboscopic police car lights!). But a quick check out of the window and "wow, those are some awesomely fast lightenings!". Less than a minute later, all the windows are shaking under the torrential, hard rain. We were lucky: neither any damage to the house nor any loss of electricity (the whole midtown was w/o electricity till late Saturday if not beyond: most of the traffic lights were off by the time the second one hit!).

Anyway, now we have gone through our first real "bad southern spring thunderstorm": trial by fire our first year here ;) Check out a great picture of the first one over downtown ;)

the call :D

2008-03-13T06:22:00.001-07:00

Or how to make someone happy. . .

I just gave a call to my future student (on his cell phone) to tell him I was going to make him an assistantship offer for his PhD. He was shocked and surprised and REALLY HAPPY :) It felt so good to make someone so happy.

He said this was like as early "New Year Gift": I just hope he gets his offer letter in time for the festivities ;)

Need a psychiatrist urgently!

2008-03-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

For the second night in a row, I dreamt that I was being shot at! Not that they ever got me, but still, it was quite unnerving. . .

The first night I was dunking in a dark pool, last night I was hiding under a bunk in the mountains and the sniper was in the near valley.

Am I nuts? Or does my subconscious think that people are after me?!

What a fantastic weekend. . .

2008-03-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

Including a great sushi dinner, shopping and buying lots of goodies, watching a few very nice movies (Amazing Grace and 2 Days in Paris. And "2 days in Paris" might be all based on stereotypes, but it is still so true ;) ), a yummy brunch, some nice walk in the park, cooking and baking. . . Me and Tiger and lots of fun.

No wonder I don't feel like coming to work on Mondays ;)

Which makes me think I am sooo not made to be in academia :p

make-up exam

2008-03-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

I usually resist really hard giving any make-up exam, but I actually got cajoled into one and today I gave a make-up exam to one of my students. Results? A big fat zero!!!!!

Why would a student take a make-up exam if he (or she) hasn't studied?! What is the point? I am really too naive here I guess. I guess some people just "give it a shot". Maybe the strategy is: "maybe I will get a few free points just for trying". I am not sure. . .

But darn, it stings. I hate giving zeros!

It ain't normal

2008-03-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

that my students (a couple from my class, not the ones that I do my research with!) ask if instead of meeting in the office I would rather go out to get a coffee or meet them at a restaurant. It is not normal, right?! I would have never dared do such a thing when I was a student. But after all, I would have never dared to beg for an extended deadline and then send after the extended deadline a brief note to my prof saying "I couldn't do it. I won't hand it in after all!". I wouldn't even have dared to write a personal note to the grader asking to give me partial credit for a problem not solved, just because I knew the grader! But my students do.

To me, it is not normal. Or is it now?!

If it goes on this way, sooner or later they will ask me if they can add me to their Facebook buddies!

Back from the conference

2008-03-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

but really physically destroyed. It's good that none of you lives close-by anymore or my cough would devastate your ears! I "paid" for my commitment to being back in time to teach the second lecture of the week with a red eye flight and 2 and 1/2 days in bed with fever! Lovely ;)

The fever is gone but the cough is here to stay it seems. And it is specially bad when I laugh: meaning I am in trouble breathing half the time ;)

To top it off, I have yet to catch up with tons of email and work: the four diamond hotel didn't have wireless access but in one of the meeting rooms!

I am dead tired

2008-02-21T13:40:00.000-08:00

If there has ever been a tired tigress, that is me! Today I have had two student interviews, two sample runs (yes, I still go to the lab to torture my samples!), one seminar, one lunch with the visitor, one midterm evaluation, one pop-quiz, one office hour, one missing package (waiting for the supposed "next day delivery" since Tuesday!), $100,000 missing from my start-up account, one visit to the office of the director of finance, one discussion with the above mentioned, and if all goes well and I don't fall asleep at my desk, one hour at the gym.

I am exhausted, possibly because yesterday and the day before that have also been the same thing, including lunch meetings, group meetings and a formal recruiting dinner! And I have just to finish analyzing another good amount of data so I have a semi-decent abstract to send in time for the extended deadline for the workshop in May!

But all I really want to do is. . .nope, not "have some fun", but simply sleep! It seems that not much is changed from Grad School time ;)

Chocolate junkie

2008-02-19T14:46:00.000-08:00

We usually go once a week to this local cafe closeby: walking there if it is nice weather or driving if it is freaky cold like today. One of the best things about the place (besides the most awesome spinach quiche ever!) is that they give u a small freshly cooked cookie to end up your meal sweetly. And I am literally addicted to their yummy chocolate chip cookie. So much so that now I am not content anymore with getting my mini-size cookie for free, but I also end up buying another one "for later on" ;)

Now, my full size chocolate oatmeal cookie is still sitting in my bag and my mind goes to it every few seconds: I am trying to exercise my self-control by not touching it at least till after dinner. And it is proving more difficult than you'd imagine. . .

Will let you know tomorrow if I've been able to resist the sweet temptation.

A while later:

I am nuts! Instead of concentrating on the article that I have to review by Friday to keep my mind away, I am thinking of different cake recipes that I could bake this weekend! Like that is gonna help the sweets craving!!!!@

Back: maybe, maybe not.

2008-02-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

It's not simply that I am busy. I get actually brain-drained. By the end of the day, my brain is giving this flat line response: no whatsoever activity.

Talking with a colleague today, she was worried to have said loud "Oooh, I am so screwed", when after having literally run down and up 10 flight of stairs, all she had found (w/o realizing it) have been permanent markers AND she had written the wrong formula on the white board! I seriously doubt that anyone would have had the presence of mind to say only "gosh" or "darn it".

The truth is that it really is frustrating when after 6 months delay and 3 missed deadlines, Facilities contacts to let you that the contracted Company is ready to work on your exhaust system as soon as you bolt down your tool. The thing is the tool doesn't get bolted down: it's a bench-top model, meaning that these lovely people haven't even had yet a look at it!!!

I am particularly proud of my student (can U believe I have a student?!?!?!): she is awesome. Smart but hands-on and very practical and to top it off, great attitude. Today we were talking about P, and she says: "yeah, he had called me on the cell phone this weekend and I guess I haven't picked it up fast enough. He dropped the call and sent me a nasty email." I am trying to figure out to dismiss the guy w/o being too negative and she continues "It's ok, I didn't care: I just figured out poor that the thing evidently doesn't have anything else to do during the weekend but to call me." LOL!!!!

In a very weird way she reminds me of Susan. How could possibly my student remind me of my previous advisor is a mystery. I guess I am always in awe of smart people.

Really, modesty is overvalued. Sometimes I wish my parents would have taught me to be more self-promoting! I have this very uncanny "gift" of seeing all the "issues" with the proposals that I write rather than the great ideas. I was discussing/brainstorming today with a colleague and only after seeing him with round eyes, wider smile by the minute and a final "but this is a brilliant idea", I figured out maybe it was worth trying. I mean, really, this can't possibly be good for someone that like me has now to live by writing research proposals all the time. I should go for an internship at a car-dealership to improve my salesmanship I think! (ehm, and improve the writing skills too. Did I just put in three words ending in -ship in that last sentence?!)

I miss writing. Ehm, not proposal. I mean, writing here. (DAAAAH!!!!!). I also miss drawing and painting. But I read a lot now. . . .ehm, again, not proposals, but all kind of books. A book junkie as I haven't been since those summers spent on the cherry trees. I think I am more creative when I do "not limit myself to my research field". Hmmm, I wonder when that actually meant that I am supposed to be reading literature from other fields of research and not just plain literature. . .

I am flying out to Santa Fe this weekend for a meeting, instead of kicking back and relaxing, I have to read and review a 150 pages long thesis. Good old days of graduate school, when a conference was all fun and no work ;) Who am I kidding: I love what I do now now :D It is so much more fun to be on this side: you have all the ideas and somebody else actually has to do the work! No, really, regardless of the stress for proposal funding, there is no other job that I think I would enjoy more. . .(remind me that when I decide to become a school chair or dean ;) )

that's pretty much it I guess. . .at least for now ;)

Not alive anymore.

2007-08-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, truth be told, I can't believe it either that I am posting again something here.
The first week of classes just ended and I had double duty as tiger was away for a conference and I was teaching his sessions too!
Besides that there was a "break" for the Conference in Tanzania (which was BTW amazing, seeing the giraffes, baboons, zebras, buffalos, monkeys and wild hogs ALL with their babies around! And we got kicked out by the UN that decided they were having their Darfur Peace Talks with the rebel heads in our hotel. And I Seriously doubt that would ever again happen to me at any other conference, or for that be ever again offered to share a presidential suite with 6 other people, or actually end up sharing a bedroom of the manager's house on a coffee plantation, when I have a German guy I had never met before staying in the other bedroom and another guy on the sofa in the living room. BTW, we managed really well even if we didn't have curtains at the windows, only one bathroom, no screen on the windows-which couldn't be closed- thanks to a mosquito net over the bed, which actually was useless considering how my legs were too long for the bed!), and we are under contract for a house (I know, I am really settling down!), and of course there is the research to take care of (including a lab -well, two halves and a quarter- and finding students), proposals to write. . .and try to survive the heat-wave.
So, yes, I am perfectly aware that I am not particularly alive in the blog-sphere anymore, but ladies, and gentlemen, this is all I can do right now :)
My apologies if I am not answering one by one all your kind messages and off-lines, but they mean a lot :D Hey, U have gone through everything with me from the good and bad days of grad school: U are almost family ;)
Cheers,
n

Alive. . .

2007-06-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hi, yeah, contrary to the popular belief, our plane didn't crash in the flight from the west to east coast.
We simply have been. . .busy! Yeah, busy, like setting up labs, finding students (any volunteers, people?!), writing proposals, gee, I am even on someone's PhD committee already. (heheheh. . .read evil snickering thinking about my not so while ago tribulations!).
As I was saying, alive, but barely kicking. . .partially because the headaches (don't ask me to go back and find a link to an old post from a long dead blog!) are back and with them the insomniac night, the fatigued mornings and the sleepy evenings. where were we? Ah, yes, and the lack of concentration!
And as I know that U are all anxious to know, Tigerfish is doing marvelously well, roaming all over the new house (hard wood floors again, yeay!).
That's pretty much it, although I could also write about the Art Fest, the Botanical Garden and the Jazz Festival, the conference back at the Alma Mater and some other nibbely details,. but that might have to wait till this first proposal is done and submitted and my lectures for the next semester are ready and. . .
Ehm, yeah, I guess I won't be that active for a while ;) But I will do my best to keep U updated.

PS. Yes, I have already got a couple of those "Are U a new graduate student?!". To which I haven't yet come up with a better answer than "no, faculty". Sigh, I guess the best thing to get it in a stride and as much as a compliment as getting carded at bars (still every time!!!!)

Almost done

2007-05-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

They packed up everything yesterday and moved it all out this morning.
This afternoon the car is going to leave us too.
And then there will be only two Tigers and a Tigerfish, with a big empty house :)
One more week to go. . .
Can't still believe it.

Thank you :D

2007-04-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

A big thank you, to all of U that left comments, sent emails, onlines an offlines :)
I am still quite weak and bloody, but recovering well enough.
No major complications, although I had a minor one last night and this morning the doc got me off the antibiotics and anti-inflammatories: vicodin will take me through ;)
[Beyond joke,s I hate that thing: makes me feel so out of control and numb!]

Unrelated, today and tomorrow are the last couple of days before I give my two-weeks notice and understandably I'm looking forward to Monday. Last weekend we had a quick trip to Atlanta and we have a house (rented of course!). I love the place :D I love the old threes allover the town and the gorgeous neighborhood and I'm more excited than scared to start the new chapter :D

2007-04-18T15:19:00.000-07:00

One surgery,
two guests,
one relocation,
two new jobs,
one new city,
two last minutes travel arrangements,
one messy house,
and two exhausted souls.

Yep, that's pretty much it.

Feeding time. . .

2007-04-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

Everybody assumes that because tiger is gone I need to be fed :) They do forget though that I am the one usually cooking at home.
Anyway, this has meant that over the last 24 hrs I have been fed sushi, spanakopitas, blue cheese and almond salad, paprika eggs, fish fillet with vermouth sauce and asparagus,mushroom rice, Indian food and now raspberry cheesecake with whipped cream! I am now quite happy that I was able to "escape" fresh donuts this morning ;) [would u have ever thought I would say such a thing?! Me and my sweet-tooth 'escaping' donuts?!]
So instead of my usual "losing weight" when he is away, I will probably end up gaining weight! And I was just doing so "fine" the first few days, no appetite and lots of workouts were doing wonders. OK, I wasn't that happy though. And it's not that now I am happy because I got to eat all this stuff, it's just because he is going to be back tomorrow :D

2007-03-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

i am very tired and i am not even in the mood.
left Tiger at the airport earlier today. he is going to France for 6 days for the baptism of his nephews: he is one of the godfathers.
but that leaves me and Fush alone for as many days and to tell the truth "me no likey at all" (go figure if a future prof should talk like this!). sigh.

Saleh no mobarak :)

2007-03-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

May you and your loved ones be healthy.
May all your acts be of kindness and all your thoughts of happiness.
May the sun shine and smile on your each and every day.
May it be for you a year of dreams come true.

Wish you a new Year full of joy, laughter and happiness.

Cheers,

Ze Zigers
(the Tigers felt like putting on a French accent today ;) U already knew they were weird, right? ;) )

It seems

2007-03-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

that I have a knack for weird and yet common health issues. My last problem is a neuroma in the ball of the left foot that sounds quite horrible but it is not really that caustic.
A twisted or "knotted on itself" nerve that at times is really painful, sending "electric shots" of pain into two of my toes and other times forgetting that it is connected to anything on the other side and therefore making my toes numb and/or tingling.
Turns out, they don't know why it has happened and it could go away by itself or not.
For now I will be getting some expensive but covered by the insurance alcohol shots. And I wish the shots were ingested, but they are is injected.
The good news is that if it doesn't work, they can simply take off the nerve which works in 95% of cases. The other 5% actually see worse pain by the cut-off pain, but hey, that is still very good statistics of good results :)

Running through my head. . .

2007-03-06T17:12:00.000-08:00

One would think that I have better things on my mind, but all day long I have had the one line from Cabaret, "Life is a pineapple", stuck in my head.
Yeah, "life is a pineapple" is not the best life/thought soundtrack I could imagine, but then it is much better than "life sucks, then U die" by The Fools ;)

More than a bit crazy

2007-03-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

I was reading this book on how to write proposals (yes, I know it is lame! but I better know how to do that when I start my new job this summer) and I decided to write down all the ideas that I have and then while I was writing down a couple of the old ones, I had a new idea and then I got really excited and I realized what a desperate geek/nerd case I am :D
Yes, it was quite a moment, but then there is nothing better than thinking U have had a good idea (I wouldn't go as far as call it brilliant, but hey, it is quite good if U'd let me have it ;) and yes, I am also aware that there are plenty of better things, but please let it go this time ;) ).
I should worry about me being able to be a good professor: I am too immature for it. jumping up and down and running around the place cause U have had a good idea is for sure some of the things u shouldn't do when U are a professor.
Maaan, I have a long road ahead of me. . .

FINALLY :D

2007-03-01T13:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the contract is in my hands :D
Holey gee, I am so excited :D
Yeah, I can't stop smiling :D
Watch the Garfield smile :D I might get a face cramp :D
And I am scared. . .but excited. Excited.
Excited, bouncing tigress :D I am all over the place :D And I can't say anything for the next 2 months or I will screw my visa situation up, but I am happy :D
Happy, bouncing, excited tigress :D

Deadlines. . .

2007-02-28T15:12:00.000-08:00

A few days of absolute nothingness and then it seems everybody remembers the big Technical Review.
I was very tempted to tell my boss how letting me know on a Tuesday night that she needed some outside job data for the Tech review for next Tuesday evening wasn't exactly "enough time". I didn't say anything (CHICKEEEEEEN!!!!!!!) when I remembered that "confrontational" thing. . .
But then this morning she told me that although the Tech review is on Tuesday she needs to present the data to her boss on Friday afternoon, so I have only today and tomorrow.
I guess all deadlines can be shortened ;) And possibly I am not confrontational, cause I still didn't say much in response ;)

Est Coast, West Coast

2007-02-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

A country as wide as a continent means among other things that you have always conversations with each others' answering machines. . .
And that I always miss The Call!
But at least it came, and the bad feeling churning my stomach to pieces has calmed a bit after the answering machine's message.

A koala to hug for me :D

2007-02-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

So after seeing the pic of Asad hugging a koala, I have decided that is exactly what I need too: a koala to hug! so I am launching a campaign to get a koala so I can be hugged by him/her.
For those of U already contributing to this campaign, you should just think about this: a koala vs. a pair of shoes. . .The koala wins hands down and if U stop by my house once I have the koala, I would let YOU being hugged by koala too :D
Contribute. . .NOW!

2007-02-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

If I eat another lunch at an Indian place, I'm sure I'll explode!
That's all I'm going to say after having had to do exactly that (eating Indian food at lunch, not exploding!) twice this week for work meetings.

On blowing up, crying, positive thinking and trying not to care

2007-02-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Consider the above as consecutive actions. I hope I don't need to elaborate further.
48 freaking days, business days, to go.
I don't have yet a contract and I am already counting down days.
I would complain about my mental health if it wasn't that the brain has long left my skull. "Freedom", it cried when running way.
Does anybody understand me?

Confrontational

2007-02-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

That's what i am it seems.
So, ok, I knew that I kind of come out hard sometimes, but it sucks when things that U thought u had to work on are publicly claimed to be ur faults.
oh well, I guess this all means that i will have to work on "it" harder than i thought.

How to give everybody a mid-afternoon break. . .

2007-02-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

Walk with a couple more friends through the corridors and tell everyone there is a gas leak in the fab and that the alarms don't work but they needed EVERYBODY to get out of the building ASAP.
Ok, I think they really didn't mean it as a break but that's exactly what they gave everyone this afternoon; the speaker being one of the fab managers, so supposedly quite reliable a source. At the end it turned out that they needed only the fab people to get out!
It would for sure have been more fun if I could have found Tiger and got out with him (our offices are just around 2 corners from each other). Instead he was in a meeting and I didn't know and of course he wasn't answering the cell phone and I was freaking out and. . .by the time I found him somebody else passed by to say it was a false alarm!
I rather have mid-afternoon breaks without the scare I guess ;D

Cryptic

2007-02-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

I know I could keep it to myself if I don't want to give details, but then it's my blog, so. . .
"One down, one more to go"
Just one hint: it has to do with "The Call" ;)

A short love story in songs

2007-02-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

I found it funny and amusing :)
You can judge by urself: here.

Completely BLAH. . .or am I?

2007-02-14T11:38:00.000-08:00

Ailed by a semi-sore throath, semi-cramps in my stomach and the titanium staples being more than a mild annoiance lately, I have been in a very !@?*#$&@#%"!@#*%$?!@?*#$ mood.
Said that, I am trying to exercise the long forgotten smile-therapy :)
Will see if it work ;)

Tiger is sick

2007-02-13T12:41:00.000-08:00

He tried to be brave and come to work but later this morning he gave up. He is now tucked in bed upstairs and I am here, working from home, while his soup is getting ready on the stove.
While the debate as for the source of the malady is still wide open, he is leaning towards my last night's broiled black code with soy sauce and gnocchi. I am understandably leaning towards the flu that he hasn't still got this year. . .
My boss coming over to his office while we were leaving told him he didn't look good (I think red flushed cheeks because of fever shouldn't look good either, but maybe one could withold that information!). . .it always takes two women to convince one man he is not doing well and that he should give it up for some rest ;)

Engineers!

2007-02-12T10:21:00.000-08:00

So I decided that having gone to work everyday with jeans and the usual sweater was enough. Today I put on a suite and evidently I am not the only one that has felt I have been dressing quite "casual" lately :)
I continue to get comments/questions about if there is anything special going on today :p To the last one I answered: "Nope, I just did it for myself!" and I got the thumbs up: literally. . . I guess it is good to feel good about urself: Yes, that's how I discovered hot water! :P
The truth is that I have periods during which I couldn't care less about what I have on and times where I DO care (these ones happen less and less). I guess today was/is a "I care" day ;)

An inconvenient turth. . .

2007-02-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

If U haven't still seen it, go rent it out. . . it's worth it :)
I definitely got to appreciate Al Gore more than I have done before.

the ducks don't float.

2007-02-09T13:20:00.000-08:00

We experimentally proved it with Rachel this morning. OK, we only proved that HER ducks don't float, but she tells me that ducks that haven't been trained to be in water since childhood can't float as adults: it has happened to some kids that she knew. They left the pet ducks in the pond and the ducks slowly went under water cause their bodies wasn't producing the right oils to keep the feathers impermeable. . .
Ok, that's a sad note for a gray, rainy Friday afternoon, ain't it?
Therefore, here u go with 20 tips for "waking up feeling great" . . . I do have many issues with not a few of those points, well I guess I have personal issues with a bit everything ;) But then, they are good reminders I guess ;)

A bit edgy. . .

2007-02-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

I am.
Indeed I begin to wonder if I have no people skills at all left, or maybe I am just hyper-sensitive.
Neither is good, is it?
Yet I have realized that more and more I get irritated by "small thing" and "small people" (just to make sure we are clear here, I am talking figuratively!). Yep, my sense of humor has close to vanished in bad-situations and I more often than not escape the idea of spending time with "others".
Maybe I live too well in my own small cocoon. Why am I always on the defensive now? Or is it that I am actually more aggressive than I should be?
My mom used to say that I was the sweetest of kids, that for that if nothing else, she always thought I would make a great nurse when I grew up. Turns out I lose my patience even with sick people!
Maybe I am too stressed again: nothing bothered me after my vacations.
Maybe I need vacations again!
Whatever it is, it would just suck if I have become really like this. Can one have mid year resolutions? If so, my second-month-of-the-year resolution is to be a better person; but maaaan, isn't that tough ;)

Nothing. . .

2007-02-07T16:29:00.001-08:00

I am just a very confused person!

Weirdos

2007-02-07T14:07:00.000-08:00

-You are so weird.
-You knew it when you married me.
-True, but I always discover new depths in your weird-itude.

The two good things about this conversation being:
1) We have had this conversation more than once and with switched roles.
2) Neither one does mind finding these new depths :)

BORING DAY!

2007-02-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

A very good boring day at work today. . .
Absolutely nothing is happening: a few Lots going through characterization; a Job just finished and I had a discussion on the next step with my boss; and basically not much more.
I would quite happily say "bored to death", if it wasn't that 1) I'm still alive and 2) it could be even worse (like Tiger's day!).

Holy guacamole, I just realized this does not constitute a good attitude for the start of the week ;D But really, who cares?

Memories

2007-02-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

It's really weird that I remembered him now. I can't still believe that I never believed my memories. I remember that night when he gave us that long format version of his book. I remember I looked at the drawings and they didn't look really pretty to me. I remember I thought "I don';t really like peoms", but I thanked him anyway, after all he was really nice. Years later, when I found that book in the library, read it and loved it, when I knew that poem by heart, his face was already a face of years past. I never later on believed my memory that I knew him, that that book was given to me by himself.
And I never again associated the funny "uncle" that would make "lavashak" with everyone in that house in Damavand, that would play with us kids, that invented the game of "HOP" and the rhymes going with it, with the one that wrote those lines.
And I never asked my parents for the name. You learn not to ask ur parents about names, once U have been swept off by the revolutionary guards and they have asked you all the names of ur friends and their parents. When U realize it's better if U don't know. And if U know, U'd rather not ask, afraid it might be someone that didn't survive.
And then, during these last vacations, we were discussing names, and Arash came up and then I started telling the story of The Archer to Tiger and the poem. My mom had a sad smile when she asked me"Do U remember him playing HOP with U kids?" I could not believe it. It sure couldn't be and yet it was. . .
Today I was looking for something else and I stumbled across this page and I remembered that face. And I missed the twinkling eyes and the smile that would keep the kids quiet by playing HOP.
"Roohash shad".

Our application is in Jesus's hands

2007-01-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

Nope, I haven't become suddenly a believer. It's just that the paralegal working on our immigration status case is called Jesus!
That should mean something. I mean, if I receive an email from Jesus, maybe it's a sign that I should be more spiritual. On the other hand, Tiger usually says spirited instead of spiritual, so, maybe I should just be more spirited ;)

What do u say

2007-01-30T16:03:00.000-08:00

to ur sister, when she picks up the phone and her answer to ur "how are u doing" is that she has broken up definitely with her BF of two yrs?!
In my case, i stared into the empty space in front of me, then said that I was sorry and that she would be doing better soon. After all they both knew this was coming.
And yet, my heart broke for her more than a bit. . . Even when U know deep inside that the relationship has no future, it's the deep love and care you have for the other person that brings U down. One day U really can't lie to urselves anymore, you can't deny that ur life roads are going separate ways and U finally give up. And I guess in their case it hurt more cause both knew and both have fought to keep it alive for a long while.
But, oh, how does the heart aches. . .
Hope that "soon" in her feeling better is coming really soon. . .

Back to. . .

2007-01-30T09:07:00.000-08:00

Work and my weight ;) courtesy of a norovirus that got me in bed/ on sofa for all yesterday.
Still a few cramps, but I'm back on my feet.
Goes to show that "non tutto il male viene a nuocere" (not all the bad is for harm!). Indeed, I got to stay home instead of working and I lost some weight. Could it have been any better? I almost wish it lasted another couple of days ;)

DUCKS

2007-01-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

I received this pic in an email with the following message from our previous CTO (J.):
"We've got the ducks. Start putting unmarked bills in a suitcase."
I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
Actually the ducks are neither mine or his. They are Rachel's ducks, usually aligned on the top of her computer monitor. Me and J., while he was around and still every now and then when he comes by, move around the ducks in different formations :) We get even quite creative with these formations. I think the best one till now though is the cheerleader tower made by three ducks next to each other supporting the next row of two duck ;)

Two PhDs and a guineapig

white House Flickr page :)

Plagiarism etc.

Iran's protests make it to the gadget contest

deluded. . .

Balatarin in English

Where is my vote?

Ahmadinejad in NOT my president.

and. . .

Election Day

Obama on Hellen's show

Holidays?

Busy, busy

the debate

The resolution and other stuff

old movies (very unrelated to the previous post)

Inspirational

Don't listen to the corridor rumors

cell phone bill

How to make you advisor feel good:

New resolution

Lovely start of the week

I am cranky

Another phone call. . .

Feel like screming

Weirdos. . .

"I didn't think I was in danger of failing. . . "

"I love ur outfit"

Unspectacular quirks (and this is because I got tagged!)

late Friday afternoon

estimated cost

I will get to this

Not a good start

Tired

Glamorous life (don't believe it)

the new RTA

And Italy is out too...

. . .

France - Italy

miscellaneous

Jean Sibelius, Kullervo op 7

Stuff. . .

Ill tigress

baseball

Grrrr. . . (Grrrrr being the sound of a frustrated tigress!)

comment!

Even more student stories. . .

Things that cheer you up

YEAY :D

Yet another proposal

Student stories III ;)

Head is the clouds

More student stories

:)

The interview

"exciting weekend"

the call :D

Need a psychiatrist urgently!

What a fantastic weekend. . .

make-up exam

It ain't normal

Back from the conference

I am dead tired

Chocolate junkie

Back: maybe, maybe not.

Not alive anymore.

Alive. . .

Almost done

Thank you :D

Feeding time. . .

Saleh no mobarak :)

It seems

Running through my head. . .

More than a bit crazy

FINALLY :D

Deadlines. . .

Est Coast, West Coast

A koala to hug for me :D

On blowing up, crying, positive thinking and trying not to care

Confrontational